i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is my gift to your gina
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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