Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
