ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
