I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
