walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
