Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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