I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's official drugs can't kill me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
