We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
