I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
