Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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