im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
