you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
