If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize