oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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