A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
