I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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