She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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