...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she peed on how many people?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
