Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
