No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize