HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
