She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
