One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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