I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
