on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
