dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
