sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
