After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
