Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
