I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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