carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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