you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
