WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
