somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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