I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
