Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
