You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
