i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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