We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
