Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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