We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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