Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So apparently I’m into choking now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
