...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everything about him screamed your future.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
