Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
