Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
