I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my shit smells like andre
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
