I want to have your abortion
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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