in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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