Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize