Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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