i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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