Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
