Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
