Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
