the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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