My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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