But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
