she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
