He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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