Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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