I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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