don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
