she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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