I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
